Made In Wario: The Movie!
by Father Hulk
Summary: A big Hollywood producer approaches Wario one day about making a movie! Wario and his staff are eager to accept, but Wario may not be fully prepared for what awaits him.
1. Introduction

Made In Wario: The Movie

_A _**WarioWare Inc.**_ story by Father Hulk_

**Author's Notes: **_Greetings, my children! Let me…_

The Author's Notes will not be seen tonight so that we may bring you the introduction by the brains of the outfit!

_Wah-hah-hah! The brains of the outfit is ME, Wario! And you may as well call me the executive producer of this project! Even if you don't, I'm still the one making all the money!_

**Father Hulk: **_Ahem… Wario, would you let me do my intro now?_

**Wario: (**_Flicks Hulk's head) Disappear! Now, anyway, I'm making all the decisions as far as this excuse for a story is concerned. My main goal is to maximize profits while minimizing effort!_

**Father Hulk: (**_crosses arms) Nothing out of the ordinary…_

**Wario: (**_blink blink) Didn't I flick your head just a minute ago? Why are you still here?_

**Father Hulk: **_…_

**Wario: **_ANYWAY! Wait, hang on… (picks his nose and tosses away a chunk) Much better! Now, where was I? Oh yeah! In order to get the most profits out of this outfit, we… I mean I, have decided to make the chapters small! Not that it will cut out of the quality of the story! Wah, hah, hah!_

**Father Hulk: **_You're damn right. I'm stuffing as much as I can into your pathetically-sized chapters. And while I have a word in edgewise, may I announce that I do not own WarioWare Inc. or anything related to it, only…_

**Wario: **_That's right! I do! And nobody else! And let me further state that… (hat is stolen)_

**Father Hulk: **_I got your hat! I got your hat! (laughs and runs out the door)_

**Wario: **_Mamma-mia! Get back here, or I take your name out of the story all together! (chases)_


	2. Meeting In The Wario Room!

**Chapter 1**

_Meeting In the Wario Room!_

The time was 10:25 a.m. I knew this because I looked at my watch, which is shaped like a big hamburger, with pickle spears for the hands. I think I may have to buy a new watch soon, though. Whenever I look at this one, I get hungry and have to run to the bacon shop. I'm worried that one day, in a pinch, I'll eat this watch.

I was standing in the meeting room of my company. That's right: MY company! I built this company on my own sweat and my own blood! Yes sir! I certainly didn't pay off the mayor of Diamond City with some of my _generous_ cash reserves (gained from treasure hunting for years) to have him evict the previous tennant, and then plop my rich butt in the CEO chair. Not only didn't I do that, I also didn't fire all the previous employees and banish them from the city forever, with promises of punishment by grating, should they ever return!

In front of me was a large rectangle table, around which sat the other members of my staff. (Technically, they're not "staff" because I'm not paying them. Well, I'm _telling_ them I'm paying them, but they'll be in for a surprise when they get to the bank.)

To my immediate left sat Mona, an 18-year old student/pizza delivery girl. She's a bit taller than me, and she has red hair—hair that was flowing red, like the river of tomato sauce I tube down in my dreams—and she wears a red shirt and short-shorts, and a white fur coat. I definitely consider her "sexy," but I'm way too busy making money to be bothered with women. Some people whisper that she has a crush on me, but I laugh it off. Nobody can touch the big W!

To my immediate right sat my best friend—and by friend I mean 'person I'm stringing along until his usefulness is spent'—Jimmy T. He's a tall guy, with a funky as heck afro, and he wears a disco suit all the time. The guy loves to dance, and he's asked me to go with him to the dance club downtown, but every time I start shaking my hot booty, everybody else runs off the dance floor. Ha, ha, ha, I bet they're all scared that they can't do better than me!

The other members of my 'staff' sat beyond them: Dribble and Spitz, who were a bipedal dog and cat, respectively, and are cabdrivers for Diamond Taxi. My chopper broke down one morning, and I had to shell out some of my very limited cash (yeah, right) for a cab ride. So these cabbies and me get to talking, and it turns out they have a genuine interest in science fiction, which was a perfect facet to add to my software development company. So I gave the poor schlubs a job. Just because I'm such a nice guy! Wah, hah, hah!

Leroy Reich sat third from my left. He was in grade school, wore a red shirt and a helmet with lights on it. Mona was babysitting him one evening when I stopped by to use the bathroom. (My toilet was clogged, for unknown reasons.) He's a little bundle of energy, that boy; loves to scratch his plastic records. He's real fascinated with the old-school Nintendo system—something which is totally lame, since none of the games starred me! When he saw me for the first time, he ran up to me and shook my hand heartily.

"It's a great pleasure to meet the very man who gallantly defeated the great Captain Syrup, Mr. Wario sir!"

"Mona?" I said after about 30 seconds of hand-shaking, "It won't let go."

Mona laughed, which was a sound almost as lovely as the sizzle of fresh sausage. "Oh, Leroy! Don't be so hyper!"

"Sorry," he said, smiling sheepishly. "It's just that, I'm such a huge fan!"

"Ah, ha, ha," I laughed, slapping the kid on the back. "Kitchen Island was a long time ago. But I'll be glad to sign autographs… for a price! What's your name?"

"Everybody calls me 9-Volt," he said.

"Tell him why," Mona said, smiling.

"Oh, because my mother says I'm so hyper, it's like I run on batteries."

I laughed. "So, you played Warioland, huh?"

"Yes, Mr. Wario!" 9-Volt replied, beaming up at me. "I'm so dedicated to Nintendo systems that I've even programmed a few games of my own!"

I rubbed my chin. "Is that right?" I looked over at Mona, who smiled and nodded. "Er, look," I said, "Why don't you stop by the office tomorrow? We'll find you something to do."

The boy called 9-Volt grinned so big that he couldn't speak. And that was how he came to be sitting at my office table that day.

To Spitz's left sat a man of mystery, intrigue,but most of all: insanity. Not more than four feet tall and clad in a yellow suit and metal visor, Dr. Crygor commanded a certain presence in the boardroom; although he had a wonderful personality and made people laugh, nobody there would care to touch him. Especially not me, and that's saying something. He lives in a lab out in the middle of the ocean, and just wandered into my office one day asking if anybody saw a runaway hamster. As a matter of fact, I'm not really sure why I hired him; we went out for drinks, and the next morning he walked in wearing a nametag. So I shrugged and gave him an office.

Now, I've been to a lot of strange places and seen a lot of strange stuff. I've been lit on fire; I've been flattened; I've been in life-or-death battles with evil genies, but I've never had a "close encounter." At least, not until the alien spacecraft crashed into my loft apartment. What emerged from the wreckage was Orbulon, a short, white alien wearing dark sunglasses and a purple cape.

I couldn't understand a single word he said, but then he whipped out a ray gun, so I threw garlic powder on him. It must have done something, because he ran from the room making the worst sound you could ever hear. The next thing you know, he rents an apartment in Diamond City, and applies to my company. I couldn't understand a darn word he wrote on the application, but I saw he had talent.

I think I'm forgetting somebody… Oh yeah! The sisters! One day, I was fighting against this weird imp guy, who was guarding a cache of gold. It wasn't looking too good for me: he had me by the waist and was squeezing, when all of a sudden, he crumples in a heap. I drop to the ground and see these two tiny girls holding swords.

I says, "Mamma-mia! What happened?"

"We saved you, sir!" said the one with orange hair.

"No, I saved him," snarled the pink-haired one. "You just stood there like a big dummy!"

"Meanie!" sniffled the other girl, tearing up.

I now observed the situation before me. To my right stood a small girl in ninja garb with orange hair, who was crying hysterically. To my left stood her pink-haired sister, arms crossed and nose in the air. Directly in front of me was a large pile of gold. Rolling my eyes, I stuffed the gold in a sack and said, "Come on, girls, I'll buy you an ice cream…"

"Ice cream!" squealed the orange-haired one, tears immediately stopped, and she attached herself to my leg.

"Just don't keep doing that," I grumbled. It wasn't in my nature to cater to children, but I was in a good mood. I had just won a ton of money, and didn't have to exert any effort. So why not throw some loot around? Wah, hah, hah! So I brought them back to the city, bought them a snack, and then put them to work for me. Hey, I don't buy ice cream for free!

Yes, it was these seven suckers (er… I mean, employees) that now sat around my boardroom table. The boardroom attached to my proudest achievement: my software development company and huge cash cow, WarioWare Incorporated!


	3. High Stocks, ? Blocks

Chapter 2 High Stocks? Blocks 

It was 10:25 a.m. as my loyal band of followers gathered in my meeting room. I stood at the front, with my other staff members seated around the rectangular table. Beside me was a flipchart, on which was an arrow that climbed steadily upwards on a graph.

"My fellow WarioWare employees!" I cackled. "I am pleased to announce that our latest Game Boy Advance game has driven our profits through the roof! We're practically rolling in dough!"

"Hooray!" cheered Kat and Ana from the back of the desk. "Hooray for Mr. Wario!"

"Aw, you're too kind," I said, chuckling.

"It couldn't have happened without you, man," Jimmy said.

"I know!" I laughed. "That's what makes this so sweet!"

"So, when will we be getting our paychecks?" asked the high-pitched voice of feline cabdriver Spitz. I remained silent for a moment, not because I wanted to beat around the bush, but simply because I wasn't sure how to answer the question. The others looked at each other, and then warily at me.

"Am I to understand there will be no paychecks?" Spitz piped up after a minute or so.

"Oh, there will be paychecks," I assured him. "Generous ones! And to top it all off, I'm having a huge party tonight at my place, and you're all invited!"

"Huzzah!" Mona cheered happily.

"Can I bring my turntables?" 9-Volt asked, his eyes shining.

I laughed. "Well, sure. Where else am I going to get music from?"

"All right!"

I looked to my right. "Dribble! Call up White Castle, and order three Crave Cases."

"10-4!" barked the canine cabbie.

"Dr. Crygor, can you rig up some sort of fancy lighting device?"

"If I build it, you will come." He said with a nod. I gave him a confused look, and he looked down, muttering "I guess that doesn't make too much sense…"

Orbulon said something.

I nodded. "There will be PLENTY of pretty girls there, fear not. Now, why don't we all go home and get ready for a party none of us will ever forget!"

There was cheering the whole table 'round, and then there was the sound of chairs scraping against tiled floor as my staff got up and began leaving.

Mona, however hung back a bit, and met me at the door. "Wario, I have something for you." She said, with a glow in her eyes.

"Ah, ha, ha! I love presents!" I laughed. "Whaddya got for me, doll?"

Mona giggled and removed a "?" block from her bag. "Open it."

A bit confused, I smacked my fist on the block from underneath, and it opened to reveal a large hat, shaped like a hamburger, with soda can holders on either side and straws attached to them.

"I thought it would come in handy for the party," Mona said, blushing.

I slapped her on the back. "You're all right in my book! Thanks!"

Mona giggled again and looked away. "You're welcome."

I leaned back on my heels and gazed off for a moment, then said, "Mona, I think you're the best thing to happen to this company."

"Really?" she asked, beaming.

"Well, sure. I mean, with my big brains and your good looks, this company has an image that nobody can beat!"

"You think I'm good looking?" she asked, her voice dropping a half-octave.

This question caught me a tad off-guard. I had always thought that what I said is something that is _always_ said to women. But I recovered quickly and said, "Well, sure! As good looking as someone who programs nose-picking games can be, at least." I wiggled my jagged eyebrows at her. This caused her to laugh and hug me, which caught me even _more_ off guard.

Pushing her off, I said, "We should get going! Party time is at 8:00 sharp!" I bounded out the door, Mona hot on my heels.


	4. Can't Outrun the Long Arm of the Paw

Chapter 3 Can't Outrun the Long Arm of the Paw 

"I'm hungry…" whined Spitz, rubbing his rumbling stomach.

"Me too," agreed Dribble. "But, we should save our appetites for the party."

The two cabbies were walking down Crystal Street towards their small rented apartment, so they could use the phone to order the food and get properly dressed.

"Are you sure three Crave Cases will be enough?" Spitz queried.

"Oh, sure," Dribble answered. "Plus I think some of the others are bringing dishes of their own."

"I meant, enough for me!" Spitz said with a feline snicker.

"Ha, ha, ha! Don't plan on eating too many of those burgers," Dribble said with a toothy grin, "Diamond Taxi's health plan doesn't cover explosive diarrhea!" Spitz cracked up.

"Ah, home sweet room," Dribble said as they walked up the path to the apartment complex where they stayed. Dribble was in the process of getting the key from his uniform pocket when Spitz suddenly shrieked and slammed into him.

"There was a big scary hornet!" Spitz screeched, pointing wildly behind him. "He could have eaten me alive!"

"Damn it, Spitz!" Dribble roared. "You made me drop the key in the sewer!"

"Sorry…" Spitz said meekly, forgetting about the scary hornet immediately.

"Go get it!"

Spitz's eyes bulged. "What? I'm not going down there!"

"Oh, you'll go," Dribble said, cracking his knuckles.

Spitz looked left and right, then pointed behind Dribble and screeched, "Look! Mona's undressing in the middle of the road!"

"Hotcha!" Dribble exclaimed, wheeling around. Upon seeing nothing, he turned back to find Spitz skittering down the road at top speed. "Hey! Where ya goin'? Come back here!"

Spitz turned corner after corner, not really paying attention to where he was going. Even though he and Dribble could speak and think creatively, they were still animals, and still tussled like them on occasion. This was the 'game' where Spitz hid from Dribble to avoid his friend's anger.

'Hey, it's 9-Volt's house,' Spitz thought to himself. He bolted to the door and began ringing the doorbell frantically, looking behind him to make sure Dribble wasn't following him.

"Oh, little Spitz!" said 9-Volt's mother when she finally opened the door. "How are you?"

"Can't talk, gotta hide!" Spitz yelped, charging into the house and up to 9-Volt's room, where the youngster was busy playing video games.

"Voltie!" Spitz wailed as he burst in. "You gotta hide me! Dribble's after me and I have no where to go!"

9-Volt laughed. "Well, sure, you can hide here. Just hide under my D.J. table."

"Thanks, buddy!" Spitz said, and he ducked under the DJ stand. His attention was soon drawn, however, by the sound of gunfire. He peered out to see 9-Volt shooting a bright orange gun at the television, and ducks falling from the sky wherever he aimed.

"Hey, that's a pretty powerful weapon," Spitz said, after watching a bit.

"Yeah!" 9-Volt beamed. "You can't beat The Zapper!"

"Can I try?" Spitz asked, crawling out from under the DJ stand.

"Sure! Here, let me put in a better game for it." 9-Volt pulled out a huge zippered case and flipped through several NES cartridges. "Here, try Hogan's Alley!"

"Cool!" Spitz said, gripping the gun eagerly in his paws. "What do I have to do?"

"Just shoot the bad guys," 9-Volt said.

A night-time city scene appeared, and then people began appearing on the screen. When the gangs appeared, Spitz aimed and fired.

"I got him!" Spitz mewed happily.

Meanwhile, Dribble knocked on the door of 9-Volt's home. 9-Volt's mother answered the door. "Oh, hello Mr. Dribble!"

"Good afternoon," Dribble said. "Have you seen Spitz around?"

"Oh, he's upstairs playing with Leroy," was the reply.

"Heh, heh, heh, now I've got him!" Dribble laughed, and he dashed up the stairs and threw the door open.

"MEOW!" Spitz screeched in surprise. He got on his feet and aimed the Zapper at Dribble. "Don't move, pardner," he growled. "I've taken down ducks and cowboys and gangsters with this thing, and it can surely take you down too!"

9-Volt burst out laughing, and said, "Spitz, it only works in Nintendo games!"

Eyes widening, Spitz dropped the gun and put his hands in the air. "All right, you got me! I surrender!"

"Good," Dribble said, picking up the cat and hanging him over his shoulder. "Now, let's go home so you can get that key, shall we?"

Shortly later, back at the front of the apartment complex, Dribble and Spitz stood bickering over who was going to go fetch the key. Suddenly, the manhole cover shifted aside, and Dr. Crygor poked his head up from underneath. He was wearing a black wetsuit and had a snorkel attached to his visor.

"Hello!" he said, smiling. "Top of the afternoon to you gentlemen!"

"Dr. Crygor?" Spitz asked. "What were you doing down in the sewer in snorkel gear?"

"Never mind about that," the doctor said. "Did one of you drop this?" he asked, holding up a keychain.

"The keys!" Dribble said, snatching them. "Thanks, Doc!"

"V-v-v-ery n-n-ice," Crygor said. "See you at the party!" He slipped back into the sewer, and his voice echoed up, "Would you mind?"

"Oh, right," Dribble said, and he put the cover back in place. "Come on, pal, we have a party to get ready for!"

"4:10!"

Dribble blinked, then said, "The expression is 10-4, dummy."

"No, no, I mean it's 4:10 right now. We have four hours."

Dribble slapped his forehead. "Aye ga valt, you with your dumb jokes…"

"MEOW!"


	5. A Supreme Emergency

Chapter Four 

_A Supreme Emergency_

Orbulon was getting ready for the party. He had showered—which his species accomplished by dousing one's self in a sickly yellow acid, but left you squeaky-clean nonetheless—and was deciding on which cape to wear to the event.

"What do you think of this black one?" Orbulon asked, turning to one of his bunny-eared underlings. "It matches my sunglasses, but to wear it with my red shoes is just unthinkable, don't you agree?"

"Why don't you put on black dress shoes instead?" the bunny minion replied.

"I can't," Orbulon answered, frustrated. "The earthling shoe store didn't have size 10 and 444444/555555." He pushed some things aside in his closet. "What about a purple cape? It also matches my sunglasses, and I can wear my purple sneakers."

"Sneakers to a party?" the minion queried. "Seems a bit informal, don't you think?"

Orbulon shrugged by raising his eyebrows. "It's not like the earthling unit Wario will be wearing a tuxedo," he rationalized. "Now, all that's left to decide is…"

Orbulon couldn't finish his thought, however. A loud siren began blaring from the main control deck of his ship, and a red light began flashing.

"Good Gralznorks!" Orbulon cried. He dashed to his radio and punched the talk button. "This is Orbulon, report!"

There was a crackle of static, followed by an alien voice shouting, "Mayday! Mayday! This is a supreme emergency! Will anybody available please respond to the settlement on planet Krublach, in sector 5-8 of the Milky Way Galaxy!"

"Sector 5-8… That's where my mother lives!" Orbulon cried. "Oh dear, I hope she's not in danger!" He punched the talk button again. "This is unit Orbulon, I'm on my way." He turned around, "Bunny minions! Man the bridge! We're going on a voyage!"

"Aye, aye!"

Orbulon sat down in the cushy black commander's chair, and began the startup sequence. "Prepare to leave Earth orbit," he said over the intercom. He fired the ship's thrusters and booster jets, and in no time was high above the planet.

"Minion XK-12," Orbulon said, "Inform me when we can make the jump to light speed."

"Nava computers are still calculating," was the reply. Finally, after two minutes, he said, "Okay, you are clear to fire the Uberdrive when ready."

Orbulon reached forward and pulled a small lever on the control panel. The stars in the main viewer became long streaks of white, and the spaceship throttled into Uberspace.

After about twenty minutes of travel, Orbulon switched on the sub-light engines and the ship slowed down to normal speed. Ahead of him loomed planet Krublach, a dark green sphere with an incredibly wide canyon running across its equator, visible from space.

"Hang on, ma, I'm coming," Orbulon murmured, and he brought his ship through the methane atmosphere and landed in the field outside his mother's house. He lost no time in charging down the ramp and kicking his mother's door open.

"Okay, where's the emergency?" He cried, looking about frantically.

"Oh, hello son," said Orbulon's mother, who was sitting on the couch. She looked just like him, but with frilly hair that kept changing color, and she wore feminine-looking reading glasses rather than black shades.

"Ma?" Orbulon said. "I was told there was an emergency here."

"Oh that was just your father, blowing everything out of proportion," his mother said, waving her hand. "You know how he gets."

"Um… so is there any problem at all?"

"Well, you see, I couldn't get the lid off the new jar of pickles, and I called your father to tell him I had a little problem, and the next thing I know, he jumps on the radio and sends out a mass distress signal. I swear, that man…"

Orbulon slapped his forehead. "That's IT?"

"That's all, pumpkin. Would you be a dear and open the pickle jar for me?"

Orbulon sighed. "Yes, mother." He followed his mother into the kitchen where the pickle jar was sitting on the table.

"How's life on Earth, son?" his mother asked.

"It's good," Orbulon replied as he examined the jar. "I'm having a good time working for the earthling Wario."

"Is he paying you good?" his mother asked sternly. "Because if he's not, we can call the Federation and have them pay him a visit."

Orbulon laughed, a sound that resembled glass breaking. "He's paying me fine, mother. Here, the jar is open." He said, placing the opened jar on the table.

"Oh you're a dear, son," his mother said. "Won't you stay for some jelly bean and pickle sandwiches?"

"I can't," Orbulon said, looking at his watch, which had 15 numbers and six hands that were constantly spinning. "Wario's having a party tonight and he wants all the staff to be there."

"You know, when I was your age we weren't allowed to go to parties. We stayed home and knit beetle sweaters like good children."

"Well, this is the zeroes, and things have changed," Orbulon said. "Besides, how often to I get invited to a party? Anyway, I gotta run." He kissed his mother's armpit and exited the house.

"Prepare for takeoff," he said over the radio. "There's a party waiting for me, and it's got my name on it."


	6. Crygor Gets Ready

Chapter Five Crygor Gets Ready 

"Hit it!" shotued a voice, and dance music began playing.

Dr. Crygor was dancing alone in his lab, a ritual he enjoyed thoroughly. He twirled around in circles as he worked his way towards his living quarters. As he passed a hall table, he plucked a rose from the vase, placed it in his mouth, grabbed a mop against the wall and twirled it about.

"We have a party tonight, Baretta," he said to the mop through clenched teeth. "There will be dancing, pretty ladies, and festive music. I must prepare myself." He reached his door, rested the mop against the wall, stuck the rose in the threads, bowed to it, and hustled inside.

"Formal wear!" he declared loudly, clapping his hands, and a closet-sized room dropped from the ceiling, the blast doors first sliding open, followed by the normal doors.

"Hmm… what should I wear?" he thought aloud, pushing some hangers aside. He finally selected a tuxedo, and removed it from the closet.

"Retract!" he said, clapping again. The doors and blast doors slid shut, and the closet retreated into the ceiling. He snapped his fingers, and a large robot rolled over to him on what looked like small tank treads.

"Exlabber," he said, passing the tuxedo to it, "Prepare this for me to put at 1600 hours."

"Yes, sir," the robot replied in a mechanical voice, taking the suit and scooting off.

"Time to get ready!" Crygor said with glee, skipping over to a circle drawn on the side of his room. He stood in the middle of this circle and pulled a handle on the wall next to him.

With a _woosh,_ the floor underneath him lifted him up through the ceiling and placed him on a conveyor belt.

**"Stand facing forward please, your excellency."** Said a mechanical voice. As the conveyor belt moved Dr. Crygor forward, a claw on the end of an arm came down from the ceiling and removed his visor, and a pair of vacuum tubes sucked off his yellow suit. He reached the end of the belt, and the ground beneath him dropped away, and landed him on a long, blue slide, which ended in a bathtub.

The bathtub filled up with water by itself, and a pair of mechanical claws washed Crygor's body while another shampooed his hair. Within two minutes he was done, and the drain in the tub expanded several times, and spinning like a top, Crygor was sucked down into a long tube that placed him on another conveyor belt, this one lying at a diagonally-down angle.

He slid comfortably into a waiting pair of rose-decorated boxer shorts, then into the tuxedo pants. The belt placed him upright, and the mechanical arms put his shirt and vest on, and draped the jacket around him.

**"You look smashing, sir," **said the mechanical voice over the intercom.

"Thank you, McClean," Crygor said. "Now, all I have to do is finish Wario's lighting device."

He strolled back into the main laboratory where the device—which was shaped like a disco ball, but upright—was sitting on the table. "The problem is, I accidentally built it upside down. It needs to hang from the ceiling." He pondered the problem for many monents, before snapping his fingers. "Of course! The Gravitator!"

The Gravitator was an experimental device he was working on at Wario's request. All Wario said was that it would be used in the next Game Boy Advance game.

Crygor put the lighting unit in the Gravitator and set the controls for one 180 degree turn. The Gravitor began rumbling and shaking, making a horrid screeching sound. Finally, it dinged, and the hatch opened to show the lighting device, now facing the proper direction.

"I'm a genius!" Crygor declared, jumping for joy. "And now," he said, taking the device carefully from the Gravitator, "We must hasten! Party time in 30 minutes!"


	7. Mona Goes Shopping

**Chapter Six**

_Mona Goes Shopping_

It was about four hours prior to our previous chapter that we find Mona Sanderson dialing her friend Becky's number.

"Hello, Becky? It's Mona."

"Hi!" said the voice on the other line. "What's up?"

"Not a whole lot," Mona replied. "Well actually, Wario is throwing a huge party tonight, and I have no clothes or shoes to wear. Want to go shopping?"

"Excuse me? When _don't_ I?" Becky said with a laugh. "Jane is here, can she come too?"

"Absolutely," Mona replied. "Just to let you know though, I have to bring the twins with me; their mother is going out of town and I'm the only one she could get to babysit."

"Not a problem!" sang the other voice melodically. "See you in a few!"

As Mona hung up the phone, there came a knock on her front door. "Who is it?" she called, but received no response. She went to the door and opened it, but there was nobody to be seen.

'Huh… that's strange,' Mona thought to herself, and then all at once she was tackled head on by two tiny figures, who knocked her to the floor and glared at her menacingly.

"Mona, we meet again," said the girl with purple hair, menace coating her words.

"We are under direct orders from our sensei," said the other, with orange hair.

"Oh no!" Mona wailed, pretending to be frightened, "What are you going to do?"

The girls looked at each other, and grinned. "We are going to… TICKLE YOU!" and they proceeded to begin a tickle fight.

"Ah, ha, ha! Oh no!" Mona cried, laughing as the twins wrestled around with her. "Oh please stop! Aaaah! Ha, ha, ha!" After the sisters were all tired out, Mona said, "Are you two ready to go shopping?"

"Can we look in the pet store?" asked Kat, the purple-haired girl.

"Yes, pet store please?" begged her sister Ana. "We want to see all the fish and the bunnies and the doggies…"

"Don't forget the turtles, dummy!" Kat snapped, poking her sister.

"I was gonna say turtles next!" Ana snapped back, responding with an equal poke.

"All right, you two," Mona said, scooping the girls up in her arms. "Let's go meet your aunt Becky!" Becky of course wasn't their aunt, but she was Mona's best friend, and it just kind of caught on.

"Yay! Aunt Becky!" the girls cried in unison.

Mona snagged her purse, which was hanging on the kitchen chair, and walked out the door, the twins following behind her.

"Hey girl!" called Becky, who was walking up the driveway. She looked a bit like Mona, except she had brown hair that was in a ponytail, and she was taller. Behind her was Jane, a natural blonde wearing a pink T-shirt that read "Luv Me".

"Aunt Becky!" squealed Kat and Ana, and before Mona could greet her friend, they ran up to the brunette and attached themselves to each of her legs.

"Hey girls!" Becky said, patting them each on the head. Then she looked up with a grin. "So, Mona's going to a party! First time in HOW long?"

"Oh, please," Mona said, rolling her eyes. "Besides, this one is very special."

"Why is that?" Jane asked, the edges of her mouth forming a smile. "Is there a _man_ involved?"

"Yes," Mona said in a low voice, dragging out the "e" sound just a bit for emphasis.

"And, who is he?" Becky asked, putting her arm around her friend and poking her. "Surely not…"

"Yes, it's him," Mona silenced her. "I don't know what it is… but I can't stop thinking about him."

Jane made a face. "Personally, I'd rather go out with Fronk." **(A/N: see note at bottom of this chapter)**

Becky shook her head. "What can you _possibly_ see in him? I mean, come on, girl to girl."

Mona smiled. "I don't really know. He makes me laugh, he makes witty jokes… he's just a fun guy."

"Yeah, that's what Peach said about Toad," Jane said with a snicker, and she and Becky cracked up.

"I don't get it," Kat said, looking up from where she was clinging to Becky.

Mona laughed. "You girls will know what it feels like once you meet that special someone. Now come on, we've got shopping to do!"  
"Hurray!" they all cheered in unison.

6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

Some time later, the group was walking up Sparkle Avenue, Diamond City's main road. So far, Jane had bought a pair of shoes and a new jacket, and Becky had bought a new purse and two T-shirts. Mona, oddly enough, hadn't bought anything.

Shortly, they came to Barks 'R' Us, the local pet store.

"Girls, why don't you go look in here for a little while?" Mona said to Kat and Ana.

"Yay!" they cried, and dashed into the pet store at top speed.

"You're just going to leave them in there?" Becky asked quizzically.

"We'll only be a little while," Mona said. "The store I'm going into is right next door."

Becky and Jane cast their eye to the hanging sign of the adjacent building, which read 'Dora's Dress Apparel,' then looked back at Mona. "_Dress_ wear?"

"Uh, _yeah,_" Mona said. "I want to look nice for the party."

"Mona, it's a party, not a wedding," Becky said.

"Just stop it, all right?" Mona snapped. "Now come on, let's go in."

Twenty minutes later, Mona stood in front of a mirror wearing a stunning green gown, which was cut on either side up to the bend in her leg, and had a neck that was low, but not _too_ low.

"How do I look?" she asked her friends, twirling around and letting the gown swirl about her feet.

"You look awesome," Becky answered. "If there is one man who could resist you now, it _isn't_ Wario."

"I _know!"_ Mona gushed with delight. "He's going to fall head-over-heels for me!"

Jane looked at her watch. "It's getting a little late," she said. "We should get back to the twins."

"All right. Miss?" she called to the saleslady. "I'm going to take this one."

"A fine choice," the saleslady said. "Please go remove it so I may wrap it up."

And so it was that Mona bought the gown and proceeded to trek back towards her house, with her two friends behind her and the twins in tow. As they walked, Mona looked up at the sky, which was starting to turn the colors of sunset. Soon enough, she would be at the party. It would be then that things would begin to fall into place for her. She smiled and held the box with the gown tighter under her arm.

The guests began to arrive.

**(A/N: Fronk is the small yellow guy that looks vaguely like Spongebob. In the first GBA game he was given a few games such as the one where you had to avoid being stepped on, and "Find My Behind". In WarioWare Twisted, he was given his own small set of games and was renamed Frantic Fronk. My source at the Corporate Alliance told me that Fronk doesn't appear in WarioWare Touched. But, that's who he is.)**


	8. Wario Party

**Chapter Seven**

_Wario Party_

**(A/N: Dear readers: I have found writing things from Wario's point of view to become increasingly difficult; the story needs to be told by an impartial narrator who can interpret what the other characters are thinking. It's critical for the future storytelling. So, I hope you don't mind the shift. Thanks. F.M.J.H.)**

The guests began to arrive at 2187 Diamond Street, which was Wario's house. The house was large—at least, large compared to the other houses in Diamond City; the sides of the house were dark blue, and the windows had deep red shutters. The house was three stories high, followed by a small attic floor, the window of which could be seen from outside. And, as with all his previous dwellings, a large 'W' hung above the door.

Jimmy Tazman was the first to show up. He was dressed in a fancy disco suit, and was wearing a silver wig, which he only brought out on special occasions. He walked up the steps of the house and rang the doorbell.

When the door opened, Jimmy was surprised—but not _too_ surprised—to see that Wario wasn't wearing anything out of the ordinary; just his usual purple and yellow garb. Jimmy half-expected this from the man who wore his biker outfit to Mona's sister's wedding.

"Hey, my main man!" Wario greeted Jimmy. "Nice duds! Silver wig, I see."

"Yep," Jimmy replied. "Can't wait for this thing to get kickin', man. It's sure to be a hot night for dancing!"

Wario opened the door wider. "Well, hurry up and come in! The air conditioning doesn't pay for itself, ya know."

Jimmy chuckled and walked inside, observing the room the party was to be held in. Clusters of balloons were hanging in each corner; Dr. Crygor's lighting device hung from the place where the ceiling fan used to be (Jimmy noticed the dismantled fan lying under the table in the next room); streamers lined the walls and hung across the windows; and there were two tables set up where punch, soda, and snacks awaited the guests.

"Looks like you got everything set up," Jimmy said, smiling at his friend.

"Ha, ha, ha! This is only for phase one of the party. Trust me, we're gonna have a blast!" Wario assured him. At that moment, the doorbell rang again, and Wario opened the door to reveal the cheerleading squad of Diamond City High School.

"Is this where the party is?" the girl in the front asked, amidst giggling and laughing.

Wario turned to Jimmy and grinned. "See? It's getting better already."

Within thirty minutes, most of the guests had assembled in Wario's party room. Dribble and Spitz had come in formalwear and were chatting with another pair of bipedal animals from across town. 9-Volt had set up his DJ booth and was playing a mix of dance music. Dr. Crygor was up on a ladder making final adjustments to his lighting device, and Kat and Ana were playing with some other children from the neighborhood. But oddly enough, Mona was nowhere to be seen.

"This quignut has come loose," Crygor mumbled, rubbing his chin with dissatisfaction, and he pulled out a big pair of pliers. "We must operate!"

"Hey Doc, have you seen Mona?" Wario asked, standing at the bottom of the ladder.

"No, I have not," Crygor responded, not looking away from his work. "Now, do not disturb me. If you want fancy lights, you must buy them with your silence."

"Wacko," Wario muttered, walking away. He was about to go socialize with his friend from the high school when the doorbell rang again.

What greeted Wario when he opened the door both confused and surprised him. Mona stood in the doorway, dressed in an elegant green gown, her red hair outlined by the silvery light of the full moon, and she formed a bright silhouette against the dark, starry sky. Wario's eyes widened, and he found himself at a loss for words. For a few blissful moments, the lights and noise around him began to fade, leaving only him and Mona bathed in the glow of the moonlight. Wario's heart beat fast; he saw Mona almost every day, but never did she look more radiant than she did in this moment. She looked at him with shining eyes, and he stared back, scratching his nose.

She seemed to narrow her eyes affectionately, and almost seductively whispered, "Wario?"

"Yes, Mona?" he responded, half-afraid of what she would say next.

"Can you let me get inside? It's really cold out here."

Like a scratch of one of 9-Volt's records, this tore through his reverie like nails on a chalkboard. Wario blinked several times and shook his head, and looked back at the doorway. Mona was still standing there, but she was holding herself, shivering.

"Oh!" he said, faking a smile. "I'm so sorry!" He stepped aside and allowed Mona to enter. "I'm… sorry about that."

Mona laughed musically. "Think nothing of it, Big W." she said, putting her hand on his shoulder for a moment as she walked in. Wario stood at the doorway and watched as she hung her coat up and looked around. "Hey, Crygor!" she called, waving at the good doctor on the ladder.

"Hello, pretty lady!" Crygor called back. "Have we met?"

"It's Mona!" she replied with mock indignation.

"Oh yes," he murmured, nodding. "Mona, was it? Watch this." He pushed a button on the lighting device, and the normal light bulbs in the room went out and the room was bathed in huge multicolored circles of light that were constantly changing hue. "It's a success!"

"All right!" Wario cried, finally getting back into a partying mood. "Turn it up, young one!" he called to 9-Volt.

"Yes, sir!" 9-Volt called back, saluting. He picked up a record and dropped it on the turntable. "Ladies and gentlemen!" he shouted into the microphone. "Welcome to the big show!"

Wario's party had officially begun.


	9. The Party Continues

**Chapter Eight**

_The Party Continues_

"So what's your name?" Jimmy asked, leaning against the wall casually.

"Jennifer," replied the brunette standing near him. "I'm really lucky I was able to come; I just turned 18 a few days ago."

"Is that right?" Jimmy mused, rubbing his chin. He stood from his leaning position and said, "May I make you a drink?"

"Sure," she replied with moderate interest.

Meanwhile, Spitz and Dribble were over by the snack table, where Spitz was gazing upon a lovely young female feline.

"Should I go talk to her?" Spitz asked, looking up at his friend.

"What have you got to lose?" Dribble replied, taking a sip of punch. "You've got an advantage, too. You haven't been fixed."

"Heh, heh, heh, that's true," Spitz chuckled.

"Just don't make a fool of yourself when you go over there," Dribble cautioned him, patting him on the back.

Spitz nodded, took a big gulp of his Pepsi, slammed the cup down on the table, and approached the she-cat, who looked lazily over at him as he drew near.

"Um, er, uh…" Spitz began, "Um… hi, I'm Spitz and…" But the female cat was already visibly starting to lose interest, and so Spitz blurted out, "Have my litter!"

The cat hissed at him and scratched him across the face, leaving red marks on him, and then stalked away.

"I probably deserved that," Spitz mumbled.

In another corner of the room, Orbulon was entertaining a bunch of small children with tales from his space travels. He had attached a translator box to his throat that transformed his native language into perfect English, and gave him a voice much like James Earl Jones.

"And then," he said, gazing at each child, "The Zorks from planet XK-12 fired upon my comrade Spiff! The rest of us could only watch in horror from the sister ship as his spacecraft, spewing smoke behind it, dropped towards the planet surface."

"Did he die?" asked a little boy in a frightened voice.

"Surprisingly, no. He managed to defy all the odds and make a brilliant landing."

"Ooo," went all the kids.

"But then, a hideous Zorg attacked him!"

"Oh no!" cried another little boy.

"Spiff fought for his life, I tell you," Orbulon said, shaking his head. "But in the end, the Zorgs won. They took him to their cave lair and dropped him into a vat of ice cold water."

One of the little girls began to cry, and so Orbulon changed the subject and said, "Who wants to know what it's like to travel at light speed?"

"I do!" said almost all the children in unison.

"Hey, Wario!" said 9-Volt, approaching the portly party host, who was snuggling two Mr Pibb cans into the hamburger-shaped hat Mona had given him. "Want to have a video game competition?"

"Ah, I don't know, kid," Wario replied slowly, and 9-Volt noticed that he had caught Mona's gaze from across the room.

"Oh come on," he jeered, poking Wario in the stomach. "Are you afraid I'll kick your butt?"

"No way!" Wario bellowed. "It's just that…"

"One game of Mario Party, and then I'll quit bugging you."

Wario sighed. "Fine, fine… Pop it in."

9-Volt inserted the Mario Party 5 disc into the nearby Gamecube (which was attached to a gigantic big-screen TV) and brought up the main menu.

"Hey, are you playing Mario Party?" called Mona. "Count me in!" She bounded across the room and leapt over the couch, landing next to Wario.

"Hey, I want to play too!" Spitz meowed, walking over.

"Yeah, me too!" agreed Dribble. Before Wario knew it, everyone at the party was begging to play the game.

"Wah, hah, hah!" Wario laughed. "It's so nice you all want to play against me. But, the sticky wicket is, a Gamecube only has four controller slots."

"Ahem," coughed a voice from within the crowd, and Dr. Crygor stepped forward with a tool box.

"Step aside," he said, pushing away the people in front of the Gamecube. Within five minutes, he had attached what looked like a wall that ran halfway across the room on both sides, and it was lined in all directions with controller sockets.

"How on Earth did you make that?" asked one guy, amazed.

"I didn't make it," Crygor said with a shrug. "It's from Pelican. I just keep it with me for exactly this kind of situation."

And so the game of Mario Party got underway. Although there was only a limited number of playable characters, the game compensated by giving each duplicate a different set of colors for their clothes. The game was great fun for everyone, and although it ran a little long for full detailing, let's look at some of the highlights.

Turn 26's minigame was a button masher. Everybody watched in astonishment as Orbulon's thumb moved so quickly it made a buzzing noise.

"How did you do that?" Wario asked, befuddled.

"By defying body mechanics," Orbulon answered as if it were nothing unusual.

"How do you do _that?_" Wario persisted.

"I can't tell you," Orbulon answered.

"Why not?"

"I'd have to kill you."

Wario laughed. "That's a good joke!"

"It's not a joke," Orbulon responded with a straight face. Wario quit laughing, and the game went on.

The last five turns ran VERY long because due to the sheer number of people playing, it was guaranteed that two people would be on a space at a time, which meant a duel. But by 9:45 the game ended, with Jimmy being the winner.

"Aw yeah!" Jimmy exclaimed, jumping up. "Let's do a little dance for the winner!" and he proceeded to break out into a 'Can't Touch This' style dance.

"No fair!" Wario bellowed. "I demand a recount!"

"Okay, Wario," said Becky, whom Mona had invited. "You got _one_ star."

"Yeah? And how many did Jimmy have?"

"31."

Wario didn't speak again but made an aggressive dismissive gesture and looked away.

"Aw, it's okay, big W," Mona cooed, putting her arms around Wario's neck. "You're always a winner in my book!"

Wario laughed. "Ha, ha, ha! I'm always a winner in my book, too!"

There was laughter all around, and the clock hit ten o'clock as the party rolled on.


	10. Wario de Mambo!

Chapter Nine 

_Wario de Mambo!_

The blade of the katana gleamed in the party lights.

"Prepare to meet your end," murmured Kat, raising it above her head.

"It will not be my end, but yours!" Ana spat back, brandishing her equally-shiny sword.

"It doesn't have to be this way," Kat said with menace in her voice as she slowly circled her sister. "You know what it is I desire."

"I'm not lettin' you use my Doggie Surprise!" Ana whined.

"Fool!" Kat snarled. "We both know that the matriarch bought it for us to share!"

"Then why," Ana pressed, "Did she only address _me_ when she picked it out?"

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!" Kat roared in fury.

Ana smirked. "I must have hit pretty close to the mark to get you all worked up like that."

"That's it!" Kat growled, and she sprang forward, sword at the ready. She didn't get far, however; Jimmy had caught her by the shirt collar and was holding her.

"Hey, hey," he said, "No fighting at the party."

"Let me go!" Kat cried, wriggling. "I must exact my vengeance!"

"Hey, I'll tell you a secret," Jimmy whispered, kneeling down to Kat's level. "I heard that Wario had cookies shipped in that are as big as dinner plates. If you behave, I'll get one for you when he puts them out. What do you say?"

"Okay!" Kat said, immediately cheerful.

"Good girl," Jimmy said with a smile. "Now why don't you…"

Jimmy didn't get farther than that; the lights went out, and several spotlight beams from the ceiling began circling the room. A quick tempo began playing over the stereo speakers.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" 9-Volt boomed over the loudspeaker, "I think you all know what time it is! Wario de Mambo! Everybody form groups of three!"

This was met by much cheering and clapping, and all the guests gradually got in separate groups on the dance floor. Wario was grouped with Mona and Dribble.

"I think you all know how this works," 9-Volt said cheerily. "Copy your partners! And… memorize!"

"Think you can keep up with me, big W?" Mona asked, narrowing her eyes slyly as she began moving to the rhythm. "Match this!"

After all the groups had finished, 9-Volt said, "Okay, now it's time for the others to copy them! Whoever fails is eliminated!"

"I'm watching them all," Dr. Crygor said from where he was perched on a ladder, wearing goggles that tracked how well everyone danced.

"Ready? Go! 4, 3, 2, 1!"

The third members of each group tried hard to keep up with their partners. Wario didn't do so good, however, as he slipped and fell on the floor on his first try.

"I can't get up!" he whined, thrashing on the floor. "I can't get up!"

"Oh, Wario," Mona said, rolling her eyes. "Here, give me your hand." She reached out to help him up.

"Thanks, doll," Wario said, taking her hand and allowing her to pull him up.

Meanwhile, the dance continued to go on, and by this time a few of the groups had been eliminated.

"We gotta get back in the groove, man!" Dribble said. "Hurry up!"

"Ready… memorize!" 9-Volt said from up his DJ stand.

"Memorize this!" Wario shouted, and he went to the middle of the dance floor and started doing the craziest, most bizarre dance any of them had ever seen.

"Well look at this!" 9-Volt said. "It appears Wario has a brand-new style he wants to show all of us!"

"Look at him go!" Spitz said in amazement.

"It's both horrific and stomach-turning," Crygor said. "But yet… I can't look away."

Wario danced for almost three minutes straight, pulling all sorts of outrageous moves that nobody ever associated with dancing before. Eventually, 9-Volt had to press the 'finale' button on his keyboard to end the music, causing Wario to collapse on the floor, out of breath. The entire room erupted in applause.

"Ah, thank you, thank you!" Wario said when he finally stood up. "You're too kind!" He wiped the sweat off his brow, walked to the snack table to grab a nacho, then went out onto the terrace to get a breath of air.

"Like I said before," said Becky, who had come up beside Mona, "I don't know _what_ you see in him."

Mona didn't seem to hear her, and said, "I'll be right back," and she walked towards the terrace.


	11. When The Moon Hits Your Eye

**Chapter Ten**

_When the Moon Hits Your Eye_

Wario breathed deep the cool night air as he stood out on the terrace. The moon was full, and the loud rattling of the crickets in the trees reminded Wario very much of the rattling of maracas. And where there were maracas, there was bound to be spicy food nearby.

He was leaning casually on the ledge when a silky voice called out to him.

"Hey, big W."

Wario almost slipped and fell, and when he recovered, he saw Mona walking up next to him. "Oh… hey, babe, how are you? Great night for a party, huh? Wah, ha, ha!"

"Yes it is," she said, smiling. She reached the ledge and sighed happily. "Look at the moon! What does it make you think of?" She inched closer to him as she said this.

"Hmm…" Wario said, rubbing his chin. "It looks like a really big matzo ball. The kind only the deli in my hometown could make."

Mona laughed. "Oh, Wario. Don't be silly."

"But that's my middle name," he said, wiggling his eyebrows. "Alonzo Wario Silly Fuchetti."

Mona giggled. "Well then, it couldn't be a more fitting name."

"Damn right," Wario said, clapping Mona on the back.

A silence fell as Mona calculated her best course of action. Finally, she said, "You know, Becky has a new boyfriend."

"Oh yeah?" Wario said. "That's great. I bet you're jealous! Ha, ha, ha!"

Mona chose her next words carefully. "Some people have asked me if you and I are going out, you know."

Wario furrowed his brow and turned to her. "Really? So what do you say?"

"What do you think I say?" Mona said slyly, nudging him with her shoulder.

Wario thought for a moment. "Well, you probably tell them that we are."

Mona was startled. "Why do you think that?"

"Well I mean, heck, I bet every girl in Diamond City says the same thing. It's the highest honor they could achieve!" he said with a snicker.

Mona laughed, but sighed inwardly; her plan had gone to dust. So after another short silence, she said, "Wario, what do you think of me?"

Wario blinked a few times, confused. "What do you mean?"

She looked up into his eyes. "Do you like me, Wario?"

Wario fumbled a bit for his words. "Well… um… the word 'like' can mean so many things… er… what did you mean?"

Mona was now gently taking both Wario's hands in her own. "I think you know what I meant," she said softly as she moved closer to him.

Wario was now utterly at a loss for words, and could only look left and right in confusion, right before…

The romantic moment came to a halt almost immediately as Dribble came stumbling out onto the terrace, laughing quite loudly, with a female canine biped clinging to his arm.

"No, I'll be the one to get YOU back!" he called back into the party, then continued towards the terrace, where Mona had let go of Wario's hands and moved to the side more.

"Oh, hey you two!" Dribble laughed, hiccuping once. "No monkey business out here or anything! We've got eyes on you!"

"Hey guys," Wario mumbled, kicking the ground. "Great party, huh?"

"Dribby-poo," said the she-dog, "Aren't you going to show me around this lovely house of yours? You must have worked so hard for it!"

"This is MY house!" Wario snarled angrily.

"Heh, heh, heh, don't mind him." Dribble said, and went to slap Wario on the shoulder but wound up almost falling and clutching his shoulder to stay up. "He's had a bit too much to drink." He took the she-dog by the arm and said, "Come on, I'll show you the…master bedroom."

"Hey!" Wario said as they started to walk away. "I don't think so!"

But the two dogs had already disappeared inside. Wario grumbled, and turned back to finish his conversation with Mona, but she, too, had gone back inside, leaving Wario alone in the frosty night air.


	12. End of Party Awkwardness

**Chapter Eleven**

_End-Of-Party Awkwardness_

Wario re-entered the party to find the multitude doing the Electric Slide, made even more literal because Crygor had wired the floor to zap people who messed up on the dance. He scanned the group to see if Mona was there, but she was nowhere in sight.

He headed glumly towards the chip table when 9-Volt spoke over the loudspeakers, "Ladies and gentlemen! Wario, the most ex-TREME dancer Diamond City has ever seen, has returned to the party!" This was met by cheering from the crowd. "Wario, join us and do the Electric Slide!"

"Shaddup, kid," Wario snapped. "Uh, I mean…. Ah, ha, ha! Perhaps later!"

"But later we'll be doing the Macarena," 9-Volt said.

"Even better!" Wario laughed with blatantly false exuberance and a dramatic wave of his hand. "Count me in!" However, truth be told, Wario felt nothing like dancing, or doing much of anything for the rest of the night. He just wanted to curl up with his giant Tree Zone Coin plushie and sleep the night away. He looked at his watch: it was already 1 in the morning.

He walked around the edge of the dance floor to 9-Volt's DJ stand and said, "Hey kid, can I borrow the mike for a minute?"

"Sure thing," 9-Volt replied, smiling brightly, but as Wario reached for the microphone, he pulled it away and said, "BUT! You must never tell my mother how far past my bedtime I've stayed up this night. She thinks I'm at a sleepover at 18-Volt's house. Deal?"

"Deal," Wario said, rolled his eyes, taking the microphone and said, "Attention, my loyal followers! This party will continue for one hour more! So dance and eat your hearts out until you can't anymore, because a party like this only comes along once every few months! Wah, ha, ha!" Dropping his false enthusiasm again along with the microphone, he headed towards the stairs.

He had one foot in the bathroom door when he stopped and turned his head; he thought he heard a faint sound coming from the guest room. After a few painful moments of deliberation, he shut the bathroom light and walked towards the guest room.

The door was slightly ajar, and Wario pushed the door open a bit more, and raised his jagged eyebrows. Mona was sitting on the couch, leaning on top of the massive amounts of coats, crying. She had her hands over her eyes, and her red cheeks revealed that she had apparently been crying for some time.

Wario was now in an extremely difficult situation. He had an idea why Mona might be crying; he had gotten a very peculiar feeling out on the terrace, kind of like a tingling in his ears, a whisper to his nose. If she had gotten that same feeling, and lost it like he had, they must be in similar moods right now. He felt he should go in and say something to her, but then again, the old chilidogs weren't going to wait forever.

Making a mighty decision, Wario cautiously stepped into the room and walked towards the couch. "Uh, Jimmy just wants me to get his girlfriend's coat," he lied. He stood for a minute more, rocking on his heels uneasily. He hoped she'd look up soon, but she didn't, and Wario had to follow up on his lie by taking a random coat from the pile. Before turning away, he looked left and right and said nervously, "Er… if it makes you feel any better, I'm mad at Dribble also."

"Why?" Mona asked through her tears, still not looking up.

Wario felt somewhat on the spot. "Er… for the same reason you are, I think," he replied.

"Don't you even know?" Mona sniffled, finally taking her hands from over her eyes.

"Well," Wario said uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck as Mona stood up. "We were…having a nice little chit-chat, and, well, um…" he began to sweat, his forehead perspiring more and more as Mona took a step towards him. Finally he blurted out, "And, I figured we were going to get around to talking about bacon after a while? I don't know…"

Mona made a disgusted face. "You're an idiot," she said before grabbing his arm, pulling him close and kissing him.

Wario's eyes went wide, and for several moments it felt like he was floating on a cloud… a big marshmallow cloud topped with mayonnaise. He was vaguely aware of Mona putting her arms around him for several seconds before stepping back and looking at him with shining eyes.

Wario swayed on his feet, murmured "Ay ga valt!" and fell backwards onto the couch.


End file.
